University Bible Fellowship Marriage By Faith (from an American's perspective!)
This page is a summary of what I've learned, experienced and observed about marriage personally and from Scripture. This page is not an official or universal UBF definition of marriage. In UBF ministry, the terms "marriage by faith" and "marriage for the glory of God" are common.
The most important decision you will ever make is to accept Jesus Christ as your Savior and Lord, the one who died on the cross to atone for your sins and rose from the dead to give you a new life. The second most important decision in your life may very well be about marriage. In fact, marriage involves many decisions--who, what, when, where, why and how. In the world, and sadly, in many Christian ministries, the "who" is emphasized. Sometimes, the question of who to marry is focused on so much that the other questions are ignored. In UBF, I have observed that the question of why to marry and how to marry are emphasized. I believe that Biblically speaking, a young man or woman should focus on why and how first, while not neglecting the other questions. Praise God for those who choose to marry for the glory of God!
- A decision to serve God wholeheartedly.
2 Timothy 2:22
"Flee the evil desires of youth, and pursue righteousness, faith, love and
peace, along with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart." (NIV)
The time before marriage may be the most critical time. In UBF, this time before
marriage is a time to focus on knowing Christ, finding God's personal mission
and learning how to form Godly and healthy relationships. Most UBF chapters have
a "brothers" house and a "sisters" house, where young people
can learn to live together in a Christian setting. I have experienced and
observed that in UBF, young people are encouraged not to date and to live pure
lives. More than this, they are encouraged to love Jesus and find God's personal
mission.
- A process of knowing Jesus more personally.
Isaiah 54:5 "For your Maker is your husband-- the LORD Almighty is his name-- the Holy One of Israel is your Redeemer; he is called the God of all the earth." (NIV)
Isaiah 62:5 "As a young man marries a maiden, so will your sons marry you;
as a bridegroom rejoices over his bride, so will your God rejoice over
you." (NIV)
Revelation 19:7 "Let us rejoice and be glad and give him glory! For the
wedding of the Lamb has come, and his bride has made herself ready." (NIV)
Marriage is often thought of as a single event. Biblically speaking, marriage is
more like a process involving many decisions. Ultimately, marriage is a kind of preparation to meet Jesus Christ. Marriage is a reflection of the relationship between Jesus, the Bridegroom, and the Christian church, the Bride.
- A decision to cowork in a greater capacity.
Joshua 24:15 "But if serving the LORD seems undesirable to you, then choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve, whether the gods your forefathers served beyond the River, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land you are living. But as for me and my household, we will serve the LORD." (NIV)
Ephesians 2:19-22 "19 Consequently, you are no longer foreigners and aliens, but fellow citizens with God's people and members of God's household, 20 built on the foundation of the apostles and prophets, with Christ Jesus himself as the chief cornerstone. 21 In him the whole building is joined together and rises to become a holy temple in the Lord. 22 And in him you too are being built together to become a dwelling in which God lives by his Spirit." (NIV)
Marriage is both a very personal matter and a very public matter. It is a time
of leaving your parents and establishing an independent life. It is a time of
preparing an environment for the possibility of children. In the body of Christ,
it is a time of maturing; a time of learning how to interact with other families
and other singles. Marriage is also a time that will impact the rest of your
life, 50, 60 or 70 years perhaps. Such a decision should be handled with much
care. Input and advice from others is invaluable. Personally, I was thankful to
have a loving Pastor, a supportive fellowship and even a preparation committee,
all of whom helped tremendously. Learning to cowork with all these people was
difficult at times, but most helpful after marriage.
- A time to experience love, joy and blessing.
John 2:11 "This, the first of his miraculous signs, Jesus
performed at Cana in Galilee. He thus revealed his glory, and his disciples put
their faith in him." (NIV)
1 Corinthians 13:1 "If I speak in the tongues of men and
of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging
cymbal." (NIV)
Jesus performed his first miraculous sign at the wedding feast in Cana, as if to
begin his work where the first family, Adam and Eve, failed. For Christians,
marriage is not only a time of loving one person, but a time to know God's love
more deeply. The English language has one word "love", which is used
in many ways. So it is often difficult or confusing to learn the entire spectrum
of love. Marriage is a time to experience many kinds of love. It is a joyous
time. It is a time of blessing.
- Preparing for children.
Psalms 127:3-5 "3 Sons are a heritage from the LORD, children a reward
from him. 4 Like arrows in the hands of a warrior are sons born in one's youth.
5 Blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them. They will not be put to shame
when they contend with their enemies in the gate." (NIV)
Proverbs 17:6 "Children's children are a crown to the aged, and parents are
the pride of their children." (NIV)
Ephesians 6:4 "Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring
them up in the training and instruction of the Lord." (NIV)
1 Timothy 3:4 "He must manage his own family well and see that his children
obey him with proper respect." (NIV)
Children are God's gift. Growing to be a father or mother is a most rewarding and at the
same time, a most challenging task. It can be a blessed time to learn God the Father's heart
for us.